No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
