Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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