i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
