i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
