Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize