Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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