What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
