new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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