You were right. It hurts to walk today.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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