she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
