Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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