In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
