hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
