We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
