oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
