those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize