was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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