Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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