i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
