Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
