it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
