Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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