Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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