yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
