you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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