in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
