chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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