You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
