it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
