im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize