the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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