The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
