two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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