your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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