were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
