help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
