New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
