I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
