Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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