So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
