This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
