Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
