Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
