i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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