can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
