the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need to calm my uterus...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
