You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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