Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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