Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
