just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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