he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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