Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
