u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize