Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize