There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
