that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
