No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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