I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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