but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
