Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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