Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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