Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
