did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
