If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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