No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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