Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
