I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
