it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
