I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
