I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
