omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
