oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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