$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
